Unmasking Feelings about Counseling with Masks

This post is an account of a recent personal experience and my thoughts regarding such. Please understand this in no way supports any specific political view or personal agenda.  I simply wish to share my realizations and reflections. Take them or leave them, but first hear what I have to say and consider its implications and our need as counselors for a plan of action.

I have been a school counselor for many years.  I have worked at the elementary and middle school levels, supervised interns and taught at the university.  All this to say, I have adapted to many changes in my career and this is not my "first rodeo."  My "first rodeo" has been learning to navigate the world of distance counseling and I am meeting the challenge.  Now as we are being called to return to school, I am considering another "first," counseling with masks. Until recently, I had not given it much thought, but now that I have, I can't stop.

The Back Story
I recently applied for another job in my district.  Of course the interview was to be done virtually, and that was okay.  Like most of you, I've spent plenty of time conducting and attending virtual meetings during the last quarter of the school year.  However, when I logged into the meeting I was shocked to find everyone wearing masks.  The group of interviewers had decided to meet together so they could discuss each candidate afterwards.  There they were in the same room, each on their own computer, and wearing masks. Although it seemed odd, I didn't think much of it at first, but midway through the interview I begin to feel uncomfortable. That's when I when it hit me!  I couldn't read their faces or body language or hear their tone of voice.

When my husband asked me how the interview went I said it was strange. It's one thing to be wearing masks in person, but to be doing a virtual job interview and have all the interviewers in masks was a bit surreal. I realized I was unable to use my counseling skills to judge the intellectual and emotional responses of my interviewers as I answered their questions.  Their facial expressions and tone of voice were indiscernible with masks.  Their body language was partially obscured by camera placement and the conference table at which they were sitting. I was at a loss.  How were they responding to my answers?  Was I making a good impression?  Was I way off base with my understanding of their questions?  Were they understanding me?  Did I need to clarify?  Was I coming on too weak or too strong?  You never think about the thousands of little nuances you rely on in personal communication and the nano-second calculations and adjustments you make until you are unable to do so.  And then, I started thinking about my students.

It's about empathy.

For an hour, I was in the shoes my students will be in all day, everyday when school resumes.  If I struggled to interpret what masked adults were thinking and feeling with all my years of experience, skills, and training as a counselor, what is it going to be like for students? How many of them will miss the social cues we take for granted when we can clearly see the face of another and hear a voice undistorted?  How many will misunderstand and be misunderstood in the classroom? Many were already struggling with their communication skills pre-pandemic. 

As I reflected on my experience with the masked interviewers,  I couldn't help but think about how my own mask, and those worn by my students, will impact face to face counseling when we return to school.  As counselors we note the subtle changes in the face and a myriad of non-verbal behaviors to help direct our counseling sessions.  And although we will be able to see the eyes of our students and they will see ours, that is only one piece in the personal interaction puzzle.  Many of our students, especially those who are younger, or have been impacted by trauma, don't have enough knowledge or experience with interpreting emotions to take facial expressions piece meal and figure out what their classmates, teacher, or school counselor is communicating.  And what about the students new to our schools or our caseload?  Building trust and rapport is going to be more difficult when we cannot see the faces of others.

It's not just counseling with students that has me concerned.  It's about all of our students' masked interactions at school.  What is to become of the shy child who always has a downward glance or the soft-spoken child who is difficult to hear? Or the child struggling with peer relationships, self-regulation, anxiety, depression, bullying or the one who thinks the teacher doesn't like them?  How will this impact students' social interactions? How will teachers know who is understanding a lesson and who is struggling?  Faces provide all of us with a variety of cues about what others are thinking, feeling, and understanding.  Students are learning to use these cues to develop relationships with each other.  Counselors and teachers rely on these things to know when and how we need to intervene with our students. 

My Solutions

I don't claim to be an expert or to have an answer to the challenges we will face with masked communication.  I can only tell you what I am planning to do and request from my principal.

1) Order a clear face shield.  My district is still discussing mandating masks.  However, I will be wearing a mask because I have family members who would be compromised or could possibly die if they were to be exposed to Covid. I couldn't live with myself if I were responsible for such a thing.  I want my students to be able to see and read my face and know without a doubt how much I care for them so a clear face shield will be my choice.

2) Adjust my communication style to rely more on literal language and less on facial expressions and tone of voice. With the mandate of masks, come limitations in the reliability of our communications. It will be essential to be more intentional in checking for understanding.

3) Ask to train faculty members, students, and parents to understand the level of communication lost with masks.  Include training on paying attention to non-verbal behavior such as body language, gestures, and posture. Consider how the essence of  a joke or sarcasm used in the classroom can be lost or misinterpreted without the accompanying facial expressions and tone of voice.

Have any of you had this same concern about counseling with masks?  What worries you the most?  Please share your ideas and comments below. Let's problem solve this together!